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Learn how to handle anger in
children
Create Harmony and Happiness, Start today!
After you meet a new partner,
most probably your
children become
angry, upset and rebellious,
and it is up to you to learn how to handle this anger in your children.
If you don't understand why
they feel that way, life for you, your new partner and your children can become very
difficult.
It doesn't make a lot of difference what the age of your children is.
Young children obviously vent their anger in a different way than
teenagers, but the basics apply to all situations:
Children find it
extremely difficult to cope with the divorce of their parents.
Whether you are recently divorced, or whether you have been divorced
for years already, your children will always harbour the hope that you and
your ex will get together eventually, and the story of their lives will
end with a happy ever after.
After your divorce you will eventually be ready to move on, and you
will start looking for a new romantic partner. Preferably someone who will
love your children, maybe someone with own children. You expect that your
children will more or less have the same taste as you when it comes to
people, and that someone whom you really like, will be just as much liked
by your children. And of course your new love will love your children as
much as you do.
Sadly enough, reality often is very different. Children will often
reject a new partner. They will be jealous, insecure, and sad because they
realise that reconciliation will be even more out of reach. They will feel
neglected and hurt in their feelings.
Normally children do not have the skills to word their thoughts and
emotions very clearly, and it will take a lot of listening skills to
hear the meaning behind the words. Luckily there are ways to disentangle
all emotions and hurt feelings, and
you are here to start your journey
back into happy family life.
Often the situation is very stressfull for the biological
mother and the "stepmother" too.
We use the term "stepwives": (n)
(1) ex-wife and current wife to the same man, mother and stepmother to the
same children; (2) women destined to battle for the love and control of their
families... until now!
(From the book "Stepwives",
by Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood (the ex-wife) and Louise Oxhorn (the stepmother), founders
of CoMamas.com)
Under the tab  you will find a very recognisable description of the phases
of the conflict between the ex-wife and the stepmother.
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"When I met my partner , we both were sure that we found happiness at last.
We had both been struggling as a single parent, and we were so happy that the loneliness and struggle was over. We had both been single for some time, and we both had a substantial share in taking care for our children. My partner shared custody with the father of her children, and I was in the same situation.
We never thought much about how to organise our lives, in the beginning we simply thought that time would show us the way. We were so in love, and all potential trouble and problems simply seemed non-existing. After a couple of months, we decided that we would spend the summer holiday together. We were excited to start with what we expected to become a honeymoon-like holiday full of roses and moonshine..
I have to admit with a strong sense of embarrassment, that we were never aware of the effects of this plan on both our children and our ex-partners. We didn't even dream of the fact that the whole situation would become very unpleasant in a very short time, and that one of the children would even cut all contact after the holiday. The children were very upset, my ex was angry, I was upset too. Real communication was totally impossible, and I grew more and more frustrated. I became afraid that I would lose all contact with my children.
We struggled some time, trying to turn things around for the better, but it seemed impossible to get the situation to improve. With help of the exercises in the e-book "From Havoc to Heaven" we managed to turn things around for the better. Thank you so much!"
(Name withheld by request) |
In these 21 Questions to Ask before you Marry (again), which my partner Willem and I compiled, you will find lots of food for thought. Bulletproof your new relationship, and start out the right way. We use these same questions still in our daily life, and we urge you to make a fresh start today. 60% of second marriages end up in divorce.. Don't become a statistic, make sure you belong to the 40% who live happily ever after!
Yes! send me the free 21 Questions
"From Havoc to Heaven - How to Handle Anger in Children"
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