One of the most underestimated skills of a responsible parent, is goal-setting.

What goals do you have for your family?

I have to admit, that when I first stumbled upon this question, I did not have an answer ready.

My partner and I took quite some time, to think about goals we had in mind, and we found it really difficult to come up with something reasonable.

Ideally, the goals for your family should be SMART:

• Specific so you can explain it to all involved
• Measurable so you know if you're on track
• Acceptable for all parties
• Realistic
• Time specific, so you know if you're on track, also time-wise.

 

A great list of possible values we found in Dr.Phil's book "Family First", helped us a lot to get started. We even used an adapted version to talk it over with our children, and they felt very appreciated and taken seriously. We actually were amazed by the values they chose; they are in a way much more conservative than us!

 

Here I give you the list.

Start with choosing 10 words of the list.

Use this exercise to get aware of your own underlying motivations, wants, needs and wishes. In the Online Coaching Program "Creating Harmony in Blended Families" we will take it from here, to a well evolved SMART outcome model you can use as a guideline to steer your family into clear waters.

 

 

The list:

 

supportive talkative affectionate respectful disciplined

meaningful caring accepting controlled well-behaved free

humorous creative soft-spoken energetic easygoing

engaging productive loving gentle religious spiritual

charitable fun playful successful winning flourishing

lucrative unbeaten prosperous conquering cooperative

helpful obliging collaborative sharing just fair adequate

passable average reasonable polite decent civilized

honest well-mannered proper correct moral wholesome

venturesome healthy natural significant strong reverent

polite civil gracious autonomous independent self-sufficient

self-reliant responsible compassionate devoted warm

likable tolerant patient uncomplaining accommodating

long-suffering indistinguishable unnoticeable disregarded

empathetic generous kind liberal conservative thrifty

courageous trustworthy

 

Just start at the beginning, underline or jot down the words you feel are near your core values. If you have more than 10, start eliminating the ones which least appeal to you.

Talk it over with your partner, your children, the father or mother of your children (your ex-partner), talk it over with anybody near you! And don't forget to drop me an e-mail or share your choice in the forum !

 

 

Drop me an e-mail to tell me your values!