March 14, 2007
Funny, how things can suddenly happen and make you wonder… I got an e-mail yesterday of c kamwoman (LOL), copying part of my website and with subject line “BULLSHIT”. I decided not to react.. Today I got two more mails, one the same subject, apparently it’s very necessary that I react!
This little happening reminded me of a much more general question I often encounter: If somebody tries to get you into a fight or an argument, how do you react? On www.bonusfamilies.com I found some interesting articles, and there is even a new book about “Divorce Poison”: How to cope with uncooperative exes.
I think it’s much wider than that. Often people try to change us, or to convince us of their way of seeing reality, and it’s our choice how to react. We can get upset or angry, or even feel threatened, we can also choose to stay centered (see my little e-book) and stay within ourselves.
I think it’s really important to make a difference between the action of the other person and out own reaction to it. Mostly our reactions are based on past experiences, and that is not the reality of this moment. When we manage to sort out the different emotions, we end up with a clear view of reality in the now. We then can decide if someone is really invading our space, or if actually most of the irritation has to do with our own past.
An exercise I often do myself is Byron Katie’s The Work. It really helps. You can get a free copy of her little book at www.thework.com, I highly recommend it. Shame, but my conclusions of today’s session are way too embarrassing to share :-)))
Anyway, I decided to send an e-mail back saying “:-)”, so we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted!
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