I can appreciate criticism when it doesn’t come from critics. Critics generally criticize to satisfy their own pathology.
Furthermore it’s hard to build character when you spend most of your time criticizing the passions, work, and lifestyle of others.
With the hope of inspiring the critics to build more character here are some quotes from big thinkers.

About critics and criticism:

“Most of our censure of others is only oblique praise of self, uttered to show the wisdom and superiority of the speaker.” - Tryon Edwards

“A critic is a man who prefers the indolence of opinion to the trials of action.” - John Mason Brown

“The pleasure of criticism deprives us of that of being deeply moved by beautiful things.” - Jean de la Bruyere

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain–and most fools do.” - Dale Carnegie

“What the public criticizes in you, cultivate. It is you.” - Jean Cocteau

“It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.” - Benjamin Disraeli

“There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.” - Malcolm Forbes

“It behooves the minor critic, who hunts for blemishes, to be a little distrustful of his own sagacity. - Junius

And finally…
“Stones and sticks are thrown at fruit-bearing trees.” - Sa’di.

About character and building character:

“Wherever man goes to dwell, his character goes with him.” - African proverb

“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses or avoids.” - Aristotle

“Good taste is the modesty of the mind; that is why it cannot be imitated or acquired.” - Emile de Girardin

“Character is destiny.” - Heraclitus

“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.” - Malcolm Forbes

“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do: that is character!” - Theodore Roosevelt

“Character is the real foundation of all worthwhile success.” - John Hays Hammond

“Character is power; it makes friends, draws patronage and support, and opens a sure way to wealth, honor and happiness.” - John Howe

Now imagine replacing the word character with the word criticism in each of the above quotes. Can’t be done.

Posted by Michael Port on March 24, 2007

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This Week’s Article:

“How Fun and Laughter Can Help Your Relationships”by Susie and Otto Collins

We agree with Cynthia.

Cynthia is one of our newsletter subscribers and she suggested that the power of laughter, fun and having a humorous attitude is a great way to keep relationships growing, alive and connected and we totally agree with her.

Norman Cousins, in his books “Anatomy of an Illness” and “Head First,” proved that laughter creates endorphins within the body that actually helps promote healing when physical illness is present. Cousins cured his cancer by watching funny movies, reading jokes, books, and listening to tapes of comedy performances. Laughter truly was his medicine.

A few years ago, Robin Williams starred in a film about a physician in West Virginia named Patch Adams who used humor as part of his “bed side manner” to help ease the pain of children who had been diagnosed as terminally ill.
So the point is–if laughter can heal sick people and ease their pain, imagine what it can do for your relationships.

In our relationship, we’ve found that laughter is a great way for us to connect.
We’ve been taking a few days off vacationing with friends at Folly Island beach and we’ve had a great time watching the dogs romp and play on the beach. We were awed by the black lab who caught the frisbee perfectedly each time her owner threw it.

As we walked along the water’s edge, we laughed as we watched other dogs run and play in the cold, ocean waves. They were having so much fun that we found ourselves having an equally good time watching them.
You don’t have to go to the beach to enjoy the connection of fun and laughter.
Here are some suggestions for bringing more fun and laughter into your life:

1. If you’re in a relationship with someone, do something together that would be fun for both of you. If you are single, find a friend or just do something that you haven’t done in a long time that used to bring you laughter and joy. It might even be something new that you try.

Rent a funny movie, watch and play with little kids or play catch with a dog.
It doesn’t have to be something that’s planned and is sometimes best when the experience is spontaneous. Our walk on the beach was a spontaneous experience for us,as well as the unexpectant fun of watching the dogs running and playing.

2. Laugh at yourself when you find that you are taking yourself too seriously. We do this when we see that we’ve fallen into old patterns that haven’t served us and we can look at ourselves from a vantage point outside of ourselves. Laughter can really break through disconnection if it’s not done at another’s expense.

Here’s a great idea for reframing a situation when there’s been disconnection between two people. In challenging situations,people are fond of saying “Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh.” We suggest that instead of waiting until later to look at the situation and laugh, why don’t we laugh now and create a closer connection.

That certainly doesn’t mean abdicating responsibility or making fun of another person.

Otto remembered something that happened a few years ago that beautifully illustrates this idea…

He and his son stopped at a restaurant to eat while on their way to his son’s basketball game. As Otto got out of his car, he realized that he had just locked his keys inside. Ordinarily this would have been one of those tense times when he might say that it’s not funny now but we’ll look on it later and laugh about it.
Otto chose not to get upset about it and instead enjoyed his lunch with his son while waiting for help to arrive to unlock the car unlocked. What Otto and his son did was laugh about the situation by telling other stories about locked keys in cars to break the tension of the prospect that they might be late for the game. They weren’t late for the game and they ended up having a great time that day together.

So what we suggest is to take every opportunity to have fun and laugh this week.

We hope that you use this article as a reminder to open to havingmore fun and laughter in your life to help keep your relationships alive and growing now and always.

(If You’d Like To join this newsletter list– send an e-mailto:collins@aweber.com , with “I want on your relationship newsletter list” in the subject heading and you’ll be automatically added to the list.)

How do you see the people around you?

How do you view your friends, family, colleagues, associates, strangers, sales people, etc? Do you see some of them as positive influences and others as negative influences? Do you think some of them are a pain, annoy you, aredifficult, frustrate you or out to get you? Or do you see them as friendly, warm, caring, affectionate, loving, understanding, positive people?

How you see people is what you bring out of them. For example if you see a sales person as annoying you’re going to always find and attract annoying sales people. If you see a family member as a pain, you’re always going to bring out the side in that person that is a pain towards you. If you see your colleagues as jealous, competitive or vindictive then you’re always going to bring out those qualities in them because that’s what you see in them and that is what you believe is their character.

What you believe is what you get. Now I know some of you are going to say: “Karim, these people are that way - I’m not making this stuff up. They really are nasty.” Sure they are, and you keep bringing out the worst in them by focusing only on seeing the dark side of their character.

Everybody around you has some redeeming qualities look at those positive qualities within in them and you’ll get them to display those qualities more often. Next - ask yourself: “Is that really the way they are?” Challenge your perception and see if you can choose to see things differently.

Chances are when you look really closely most people are not as mean and unkind as you think they are. They probably think that they’re being very nice but since you only see the negative qualities in them anything they do will be deemed negative. Once you’ve perceived them to be a certain way there’s nothing that they can do to change your mind.

The only way you will truly see the good in the other person is to focus on and see their good qualities then you’ll actually see them displaying these qualities more often. Look for the good in everyone and you will only attract good things to you. Change the way you see people. Change the way you see life. Begin to believe that good things can happen and you begin to use the Power Of Perception. Get started today - visit:http://www.creatingpower.com/news.htm

PS I did buy his course, and the whole family (including my husband and my ex-husband) love it. (No, I don’t get commission!)