Funny, how things can suddenly happen and make you wonder… I got an e-mail yesterday of c kamwoman (LOL), copying part of my website and with subject line “BULLSHIT”. I decided not to react.. Today I got two more mails, one the same subject, apparently it’s very necessary that I react!

This little happening reminded me of a much more general question I often encounter: If somebody tries to get you into a fight or an argument, how do you react? On www.bonusfamilies.com I found some interesting articles, and there is even a new book about “Divorce Poison”: How to cope with uncooperative exes.

I think it’s much wider than that. Often people try to change us, or to convince us of their way of seeing reality, and it’s our choice how to react. We can get upset or angry, or even feel threatened, we can also choose to stay centered (see my little e-book) and stay within ourselves.

I think it’s really important to make a difference between the action of the other person and out own reaction to it. Mostly our reactions are based on past experiences, and that is not the reality of this moment. When we manage to sort out the different emotions, we end up with a clear view of reality in the now. We then can decide if someone is really invading our space, or if actually most of the irritation has to do with our own past.

An exercise I often do myself is Byron Katie’s The Work. It really helps. You can get a free copy of her little book at www.thework.com, I highly recommend it. Shame, but my conclusions of today’s session are way too embarrassing to share :-)))

Anyway, I decided to send an e-mail back saying “:-)”, so we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted!

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Got feedback on yesterday’s post… Seems that my sense of humor is not really compatible with my environment! Maybe I’ll even have to change that aspect of my own little personality a bit, or at least… not take the (just a tad adolescent) stance that provoking is kind of funny.

OK, so there we go: Charlotte is going to grow up…

I have to admit that it’s not always easy to walk your talk; especially when you think that things are utterly unfair for your beloved one; that is even worse than if things were unfair for me. But, as Dr.Phil states it: “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” So there goes the ego, out of the window—!

Step one: make a clear picture of how you want your future to look like. (In any case with Bill and the kids, and specifically in a nice and friendly atmosphere with all adults involved, so that the kids grow up in a safe and warm environment)

Step two: eliminate non-productive thoughts

Step three: visualise your future, use affirmations.. and action

Shall I start deciding on the details of my future tomorrow??

Great day to start my blog on blended families.. Not a lot to blend at the mo. Bill is in Croatia (some 3000 km away…), Josephine is at school… Anyway, sun is shining, I’ve got a litter of puppies (Yorkshire Terrier) making noise; Tim, my old guarddog is standing outside the door asking for a cuddle.

Yesterday I re-found www.bonusfamilies.com, lovely website. I have some trouble with some people in the family, and reading the articles, I had to admit that it’s solely my responsability to shift the atmosphere.. big sigh. The first one to realise that things are NOT for the best of the kids, has the responsability to start making changes. Yesterday night Bill phoned on his cellphone, and I couldn’t help telling him my new discovery…

I now will have to write something sensible and sensitive (not always my strongest point - this is an understatement;-)). I’ll try anyway and keep you posted!